Will I survive without my camera?
Does this ever happen to you? It happens to me every time I go away… I feel like I have packed everything I need, but I always worry that I’m forgetting something– even if I’m not. I guess that neurosis falls into the same category as another neurosis of mine: every time I leave the house, I feel compelled to check and make sure I’ve locked all of the doors, turned off the stove and oven (even if I haven’t used them in days,) and closed the garage door. On my way to New Orleans though, I was confident that I had everything– along with that little nagging feeling that is always there. It wasn’t until I was standing in the airport parking lot that I realized that I had indeed forgotten something very crucial: my camera!
My immediate response… devastation! I need it for my blog. How am I going to continue my blog without any photos? Next response… wow, wait a minute! When did I become so dependent on my blog? How did that happen?
Then, pretty quickly, my next response… let it go. Don’t worry about it. At least now you know what you’re writing about in your next post!
So here I am wondering that very question: How and when did I become so dependent on this blog? And more importantly, why?
I guess the only answer I can come up with is that in a strange way it has become very therapeutic for me. It’s a time for me to reflect and just take a moment to pause. It’s a time to be creative. It’s a time to celebrate my mini triumphs and failures. And then, it allows me to move on.
The very source of my disappointment the moment I realized I forgot my camera turned out to be my source of solace. It helped me to decide how I was going to move forward in that moment. Was I going to become angry and let it ruin my trip, or was I going to just go with the flow? After all, I had to accept the reality that I wasn’t going to get what I wanted at that moment. Ultimately, a few minutes later (it usually takes me much longer to learn my lessons,) I chose to make a lesson out of it: sometimes we think we need something to make an experience or even our lives complete. If we can let go of that attachment, we become more free, and everything turns out okay.
So that’s what I did… I gave in to the fact that I was without my camera, and my trip to NOLA became an experiment for me. Could I do this without a camera? And furthermore, can I live my life with a little more freedom and a little less attachment to things?
Like I’ve said before, it never hurts to try.