I wrote this blog post on March 14, 2013. At the time, I reflected on what worked for myself in creating change. Despite having no experience coaching at the time, these are some of the principles I use today to help others create their own path and design their career on their terms.

If you’ve followed my blog over the past 11 years, you’ve had a front row seat to witness my huge and daunting career change.

“Huge and daunting…” Hmm. Today I read that and am intrigued by that description from 11 years ago. Indeed, that was exactly how it felt. However, when I read those words today, I wonder if I was being dramatic.

But, I know I wasn’t.

I see it differently now, because I have proof that the path works for others, too. I get to watch my clients shift from thinking they have no skills, to creating aligned opportunities, all while becoming happier in the process. 11 years ago, I had no guidance, and I put this list together based on what worked for me. Today, I offer that guidance I wished I’d had, and I witness how much less “huge and daunting” it becomes when you have someone helping you create the path forward.

If you are interested in creating change, you can apply these same principles to take charge and design your life on your terms.

1. Listen to and trust your feelings.

Notice if you are you unhappy driving to and from work. Do you get irritable with those around you? Maybe you always get the wintertime blues, or your job puts you in a bad mood. If you feel a certain way, don’t ignore it. It’s easy to convince yourself that everything is okay and end up tolerating just-good-enough. I did that for years, rationalizing that my suffering was okay, so I could avoid facing the painful and inconvenient truth.

Facing the truth is the first step to creating change.

Your clues may not show up in the way you expect! For years, I was so skilled at denying myself, that my brain pulled some crazy antics to get my attention. At the height of my confusion, I had vivid recurring dreams. Even today, if I miss something, recurring dreams return to alert me. Pay attention to yourself!

2. Get back to your roots.

Why did you choose this career in the first place? Check in with your WHY and evaluate if the career is giving you what you hoped to get out of it. Maybe your WHY has changed, and that’s okay. If you’re not feeling the warm fuzzies you thought you would and instead feel unfulfilled, you have options. You can either reconnect with your WHY in dentistry, or you can explore what else might align with who you are. Life is too short to waste it resenting every moment.

3. Do some soul-searching.

Ask yourself what you really want in life and assess what’s important to you. What are you willing to trade to have the big house, fancy car, and a lot of money? What values and life lessons do you want to teach your children? Maybe you want the freedom to pick up and take a week-long vacation every 3 months or just have the weekends to train for your upcoming marathon.

Whatever it is, YOU get to CHOOSE! Make sure that your career supports your life goals.

4. Determine if it is the job or the career, or you.

If it’s the job, you will notice life is better when you change it.

But what if it’s you? If you discover that your thinking is causing the turmoil in your relationship with dentistry, work on yourself. For example, if your perfectionism becomes too overwhelming, practice imperfection. If you’ve successfully cured your perfectionism (or even if you haven’t,) and the job still makes you miserable, then you have your answer.

Accept and honor what’s true for you: dentistry might be the wrong career.

If you realize it’s the career, then at least you tried everything you could. Sure, you’ll still question whether you’re doing the right thing, but you’ll have that extra boost of clarity to keep yourself going despite the doubts that creep in– and they always do.

5. Celebrate the small things.

I know it can be hard to do when you’re in a funk, but this will change your energy. Years ago I started to celebrate whenever I did something new, and I still continue it to this day. Whether it was joining a new gym class for the first time, finally getting into the yoga pose I’d been working on for months, or getting my butt into a commercial kitchen to work on my new project; it was a reminder that I could keep growing, keep pushing, and keep leaving my comfort zone. It reminded me that I never had to stay stuck again.

When you celebrate, you don’t have to throw a big party, but just take a moment to congratulate yourself with a simple acknowledgment.

The small things ARE the big things, so everything is worth celebrating.

6. Start a side gig.

If you live your life defined by a career you don’t love,  you will resent it. You are so much more than that, and life is more fulfilling when you choose to nurture in yourself the things that you love. Starting a side gig, whether it’s a job or a new business will help you see that dentistry doesn’t have to be your whole world. You’ll begin to feel less stressed from dentistry, and you’ll have more fun in life. Exploring with no strings attached will help you access your creative thinking, and you will begin to see more opportunities. You never know how opening one door can open another.

7. Don’t give up. 

Keep trying new things. It’s like dating. You don’t have to marry the first person you meet. Gaining different experiences will help you get the clarity you need. Redesigning your dental career doesn’t always happen over night. It took me 13 years.

I used to joke about how silly I felt exploring projects that were so wrong for me. But it wasn’t silly. It was my lifeline. I was so desperate for a change that my desperation drove me to keep trying, and that is what worked. Dabbling and exploring in life is exactly the process to figure it out.

8. Ask for help.

Don’t be afraid to reach out to others. This is why we have communities– to support us through life! It’s okay if you have to hire a career coach or even a therapist. Even if you hire a coach or get therapy, having someone to guide you forward will shave years of time, money, and effort off of your journey. In the end, the investment in yourself will be priceless.

If you’re sick and tired of the constant questioning and worrying about your career, know that you can do something about it. I promise you, life is better once you allow yourself the freedom to align your work with your personal life.