We all know happiness comes from within, right?

Or so they tell us. We have all heard it over and over, but how many of you really believe that? At one point the idea frustrated me. I understood it, but I wasn’t sure I ever truly experienced it. I spent years wondering how I could change from within to become a happier person who was impermeable to the world around me. It didn’t seem realistic.

Then I experienced it myself, and I started to really understand what that meant.

Working through my career change shifted this from a concept to a real experience. Now I get it. For me it is changing the way I view the world. It’s all about my perspective. In a way it is a sense of impermeability.

It’s not about ignoring the world around me, but it is about responding to it differently. It’s appreciating a pretty snowfall instead of getting depressed by a cold winter. It’s learning to not take a rejection personally. It’s laughing instead of being angry when I get stuck in traffic leaving my gym because I didn’t know there was a graduation event getting out at the same time.

Whatever the specific example, it means seeing less problems in my day-to-day life and seeing more opportunities. It means getting less worked up over something that doesn’t warrant the worry or stress. That is freeing.

Mostly, it’s a feeling. It’s a stronger sense of peace with the small moments in my life that I have never felt before.

The last few years in particular created the biggest transformation for me. Even though it seemed to all happen in these recent years, the earlier years of doing that work planted the seeds that led me to this point.

What was the catalyst? I challenged myself to work on a business that pushed me way out of my comfort zone. I saw how I could completely shift my attitude about something. I took a business model I previously hated, and chose to see the positive in it. I genuinely felt happier and excited when I changed my attitude. I had fun doing things that I previously would have seen as torture.

It was amazing to discover that my brain had these super powers.

After I gained proof that I could change my opinions and my perceptions, I finally understood how one can change from within. Learning that was the most powerful gift.

Then I begin to wonder why it took me so long to discover these super brain powers.

As I try to share this practice with others, I reflect on me 7 years ago. I wasn’t capable of having these same super powers I have now. Something big prevented me from being able to change from within.

For years I tried it and failed. I tried so hard to change from within. Sure, I made some progress. I created mental cues for myself when I noticed I was worrying too much during a procedure. I found ways to remind myself I didn’t have to be perfect when I found myself obsessing over trying to make the perfectly adequate box on the distal of a #2 DO perfect. Or I came up with mental strategies to try to protect myself from a patient’s negative energy when I noticed it bringing me down. I had several techniques, and they worked… somewhat. It helped, but I never truly felt at ease.

It was great practice, but they were exercises to help me cope when instead I knew I wanted to thrive.

What was so different that I was able to make this work now when I couldn’t do it 7 years ago?

The answers fell into place for me when I listened to my new favorite podcast last week.

The host of the show, Luke Iorio, interviewed author, Benjamin Hardy. Just after high school graduation, Ben found himself on a path to nowhere in his life. He didn’t know where to turn, and one day he started questioning how he got there. He ultimately went from spending 12 hours a day playing video games to reinventing himself into the person he wanted to be. The main catalyst for this was when he served a mission in a completely different place. That experience gave him purpose, and at the time he realized he could choose to be who he wanted to be.

It gave him the opportunity to transform and go back home a new person. When he returned home to the same old life, he realized something. He recalls, “I could feel that if I stayed in that environment, I would immediately revert back to who I was.”

What did he credit for this profound life change?

He changed his environment. He insists that is the key.

At first I wanted to challenge this because forever we have heard how change must come from within. Of course we all know the saying “wherever you go, there you are.” Our problems, beliefs, habits, and perceptions follow us. How can he change this concept all around on me?

Then it hit me. They both matter! I couldn’t really change from within until I made the right changes to my environment.

Now that seems so clear.

We need to change our environment in order to change from within.

Whatever that environment is for you, it’s worth examining. Our environment is not only our physical surroundings, but it’s also our relationship to things and people around us. So it doesn’t mean we have to abandon a situation altogether. The change in environment we need may simply be changing our relationship to something.

We can change our environment in so many different ways. Maybe you’re fresh out of school and your entire staff is older than you, so you find it hard to be a strong leader. You can change your relationship to the staff, thereby changing your relationship to your environment.

Maybe you work in an office that takes a million different insurance plans, and you wish you had more time with your patients. It may be necessary to find a new job creating that physical change in your work environment.

Maybe dentistry causes you so much anxiety, that you need to leave the field completely.

Whether the change you need is changing your team, finding a new office, or changing to work part-time, this environmental change will help free you up to start to change from within.

That’s the beauty of dentistry. There are so many ways we can approach working in this field. The flexibility allow us the opportunity to change not only ourselves but the environment around us to help us change for good.