In December of 2012, one year after having quit dentistry, I wrote this follow-up post to clarify why I compared leaving dentistry to leaving a cult. I’ve added a few updates to the post. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

If you’ve ever wanted to quit dentistry, you probably felt like leaving your career was like leaving a cult.

I recently broached this oh-so-controversial topic of whether dentistry is like a cult or not, and luckily for my ego, there wasn’t a huge backlash.

Not everyone loved my analogy, but that’s okay. It sparked some interesting discussions in my private Facebook group, and I learned something new.

I learned that the word “cult” seems to irk people who can’t completely relate to how hard it is to quit dentistry.

However, for those who do feel trapped in their careers, it absolutely hits home. Years ago, when I originally wrote that post, I was trying to push buttons with this word choice. I deliberately left my analogy open for interpretation because I was curious to see how others would perceive that idea. Pushing buttons is no longer my (main) intention, but I do stand by my use of the words “leaving a cult” when wanting to quit dentistry.

The analogy is quite simple. Stereotypically, it’s very hard to get out of a cult. It’s also very hard to get out of a career in dentistry. It’s about the leaving, not about the staying that makes it cult-like.

So why is it so hard to quit dentistry, anyway?

Because we make it hard.

Here are 6 lies we create for ourselves that keep us stuck.

1) Dental school was so specific that I have no other skills. 

When you started out, you were probably much more well-rounded in your life skillset and didn’t even know it. However, after 4 years of eating, breathing, and sleeping dentistry, you might get brainwashed into thinking it’s all you know. On the surface, your skills aren’t transferable. You can’t just pick up sales, or accounting, or even business management. Instead you are stuck believing you have nothing to offer and no place to go. 

2) I have made such a huge financial and time investment in my career, that I feel obligated to stay. 

No one wants to be a quitter, especially high achievers who’ve made such a huge commitment. Personally, I didn’t feel free to leave until I had paid off my student loans. It was as if I had to “get my money’s worth.” But after that point, I figured I was “even,” and I could move on without any baggage weighing me down. You might feel similarly. You might feel as if you can’t walk away without reaping that big, elusive reward. 

3) People will think I’m a quitter or a failure. 

You worry about what your parents, or your friends, or your children would say. (Your children would probably tell you to go for it! Sometimes we can learn a thing or two from them.) Imagine what your patients or even your colleagues would say. You’re convinced no one will understand how you could walk away from something so wonderful and risk being a failure. Hiding this secret only makes you feel more isolated, ashamed, and stuck.

4) The Golden Handcuffs. 

You’re not alone if you cite income as the #1 reason you can’t quit dentistry. Maybe you’ve settled into this lifestyle, bought a house with a huge mortgage, leased the fancy car, and love your weekly sushi fix– not to mention that massage every week for your ailing back. You can end up pigeonholed, needing to support this lifestyle with an equally well-paying job. Plus, you think those are all the things that will make you happy in life. How’s that happiness thing working out for you?  

5) Lost Trust in Yourself. 

After making the wrong career choice, you might begin to feel paralyzed to make any life decisions. You are afraid to go back to school again and waste more money on even more education. You believe you chose poorly once, thinking you were making the best decision of your life, so how can you trust in yourself to make the right decision this time around. You don’t want to pay for another degree to find out you won’t like that career either. You did it once and are not willing to make that mistake again. It just becomes easier to avoid the risk and stay where you are. 

6) You won’t like anything else as much as you like dentistry.

When you list all the possible work you could do, you knock every idea off the brainstorm list as fast as it makes it on. You know for a fact you wouldn’t be satisfied doing a lot of the tasks involved in other fields. Oh, the irony… You’re afraid you won’t like another job as much as the one that is making you feel anxious at depressed at all times. I get it. The known misery is much more attractive that anything unknown. It just becomes another rationalization for why you should stay put.

The truth is, these are all lies you tell yourself to stay stable and secure.

These fear are valid, but they don’t have to control your outcome. If you really want to quit dentistry, recognize that the only cult leader keeping you in, is yourself. These are not facts, but they are beliefs that we create. It might seem like dogma, but these perceptions are not absolute, unchangeable truths. Ask me how I know.

Try noticing this instead: 

• Dentistry is hard and most people on the planet can’t do it. If you can do dentistry, you can do anything!
• Your stubborn pursuit to grit your way through life might be costing you the most important things in your life: your happiness, your health, and your relationships. Is it worth the trade-off?
• When you let go of believing your known pain and money are your only answers, you will find freedom and other ways to earn.
• You get to frame the premise under which you make the changes in your life. When you own it, others will follow your lead. When you walk with confidence, others will share your confidence.
• Dentistry can be a stop along the way instead of the final career destination. What if this very experience in dentistry was exactly what you needed to know your true calling in life? Life is about the journey, not the destination, right? It’s a cliche for a reason.

Change doesn’t have to be made all at once, but if you focus only on why you can’t change, you’ll never allow the new possibilities or opportunities to come into your life.

It’s easy to blame outside circumstances for staying stuck, but really… you hold the keys to your own freedom.

When you are truly ready (or desperate enough,) you will find out that these beliefs don’t mean anything at all, and… poof, they’ll begin to disappear.