I’ve been having a lot of conversations lately about boundaries.

Drawing boundaries is a good thing. It helps us stay true to ourselves. We get the chance to choose what is best for us, and the amazing byproduct is that we can be better for others. It’s definitely a win-win.

On the flip side, though, saying NO too often can get in the way of living.

Take the movie, “Yes Man.” Yeah, yeah, I know it doesn’t have the highest rating according to the Tomatometer, but the movie’s message is one of my favorites.

In it, Jim Carrey plays Carl. Carl is stuck in a giant rut. After his divorce, he spends the next 3 years of his life not really living. He says NO to every opportunity that comes his way, declining even simple invitations to hang out with his friends.

Then one day he goes to a live seminar where the guru puts a hex on him that prevents him from saying NO. His life goes from total avoidance to total immersion. He is compelled to say YES to every single opportunity or question that comes his way.

Carl becomes a Yes Man, and his life changes completely.

He gets himself into a lot of trouble, but incredible opportunities begin to flood into his life. He gets the job promotion, he gets the girl, and most importantly, he starts living again.

I don’t know about you, but I can relate to saying NO too much. I have found myself in ruts where I don’t feel like going out or making plans. Those usually pass, but more importantly, I have found myself stuck in a “No Man” Career Rut.

When I was really stuck in my dental career, no matter what idea, interest, or opportunity that came my way, my answer was always a big, fat NO. I made excuses and avoided exploring. Nothing was good enough and nothing would ever work.

The NO’s kept generating more of the same– more stagnation and more paralysis.

Then suddenly it shifted. It was as if a hex was placed on me, and after a lot of therapy, career coaching, and personal development, I began to get out of my own way. (Okay, a lot of therapy, coaching, and personal development is not “suddenly,” but after a lot of effort, it did just happen.)

I became a YES MAN!

Some people see being a Yes Man (or woman, of course,) as a bad thing. They see it as being a pushover who can’t say no, so they go along with everything people say just to please others. It might imply that they have no direction of their own.

But I look at it differently.

Seeing how being a No Man held me back, I see the Yes Man as the ultimate adventure seeker, the one who is not afraid to take a risk and say YES to living!

Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t as if I was saying yes to everything and my life changed the way Carl’s did in warp movie speed, but things did begin to change. The YES became contagious, and the more opportunities I explored, the more opportunities that came my way. I didn’t want all of them, but at least it shifted my energy.

This is the key. We must shift our energy.

If we stay stuck in the energy that tells us we have no options, then we create that reality. If we begin to get curious, we begin to see more possibilities– realistic possibilities. We might even allow ourselves to dream a little bit and know that we can have more of what we really want in our lives and careers.

So take note of where your energy lies. Are you constantly saying NO to everything that comes your way? Are you avoiding pain or failure and essentially missing out on the adventures that life brings our way?

If so, maybe it’s time to get out of your NO MAN rut and practice becoming a YES MAN! You don’t have to take a big Quantum Leap into Yes Land but you can start small to begin to change the stoplight in your brain from red to yellow. And before you know it, the light will turn green.