Ahh, dentistry. What a noble profession.

We put our hearts and souls into taking care of others. We invest much of our lives learning our craft and doing everything we can to make our patients comfortable. When our hard work pays off and gets great results, we celebrate with a deep sense of joy and satisfaction. And when our very best efforts don’t lead to the desired results; we feel defeated, disappointed that we couldn’t do more for our patients.

We have such good intentions. Even when it comes to business, I always thought dentists incorporated a different level of caring into their businesses. Many offices I knew were like a family– or at least they tried. It never felt like the cutthroat environment that you might find in the corporate world.

It has been ten years since I’ve been in the private practice world, so I don’t know how much that has changed. However, I know that inherently, the nature of many dentists as business professionals is one that values people and relationships.

We truly care about those in our community.

This is why it’s so hard for us when our patients, aka clients, don’t trust us.

Do you ever worry that patients won’t trust you when you’re being honest and genuine? Maybe you’ve seen that patient for the first time and thought, “Wow, they have all of these interproximal lesions, but their previous dentist never mentioned it, so… what if they think I’m lying?”

I’m sure it’s happened to you. You know that you’re diagnosing it correctly, but in the back of your mind, you question, “what if they don’t trust me?”

It’s perfectly understandable why our patients would question us. They don’t know what we know. They simply have to trust us, and that can be scary.

However, we know what it’s like to show up in our highest integrity and still have our patients mistrust us. And we don’t like it.

That’s why it always surprises me to see dentists show a lack of empathy to other professionals.

I love dentists. I really do, but as much as I love dentists, I also feel the need to call us out for our behavior just like I would our patients. Yes, I am one of them, so I feel I’ve earned the street cred to make us dentists think.

Sometimes, we can be a little hypocritical. There I said it.

Let me set the stage for you.

1. As dentists, we are in the business of taking care of people.
2. As dentists, we are entrepreneurs and business owners who BELIEVE in the services we provide and the right to be paid for it.

A while back I saw a post in a Facebook group about burnout. In fact, a few other coaches and I were tagged in this post. We all added our two cents on burnout, answering the question that was asked of us… only to see a very small side discussion on the thread saying how it’s funny that all of the “experts” come “out of the woodwork” to promote their “solutions” in the comments.

When I read “experts” and “solutions” in quotes, it implied that “experts” really aren’t experts, and what they’re offering isn’t really solutions. To me, it showed a lack of respect, and it read like an accusation that coaches are like vultures. It inferenced that they appear at any moment to capitalize on a discussion and shamelessly promote themselves.

Are dentists such good sales people, that they themselves don’t even know that they sell all day long?

I started writing this blog post four months ago, but I left it as a draft because I wasn’t really sure where to go with it. And then last week, a similar type of commentary reared its ugly head again. This time, these dental “professionals” began criticizing a specific coach’s content, accusing her of shamelessly selling without providing any value.

It was, in a word, nasty.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, and I had to pause and question:

Were these people who are actually in the business of taking care of people so blatantly disrespecting another… person? Not only that, but one of their own, another dentist?

This is what gets me, and I’ll say it again.

1. As dentists, we are in the business of taking care of people.
2. As dentists, we are entrepreneurs and business owners who BELIEVE in the services we provide and the right to be paid for it.

How can someone in the business of taking care of people be so judgmental and unkind to… people?

In dentistry, we are proud to be compassionate and loving professionals who want to help others out of the kindness of our hearts.

Does this standard disappear once we leave the four walls of our office? Does this only apply to the people who are buying our services, or the people who are helping us sell our own services?

When did we become so disconnected with our own values and missions, that we can compartmentalize when we are kind and when we are mean to people?

Remember point #2: Dentists are business people, too, who create a better world by selling something.

Now here’s what really confuses me. Dentists show up at work and believe that the service they provide changes lives. I agree. They impact people, and believe it or not, many people love dentists too. But when our patients accuse us of self-promotion and shamelessly selling, it hurts. We don’t like being perceived as someone who is selling something.

We know what it feels like when the very people we are passionate about helping question our integrity and intentions.

Knowing that, do we lack so much compassion for others, that we can’t recognize when we behave exactly like the patients accusing us of being smarmy sales people?

I can tell you that as a coach, I am passionate about the work that I do. I know what it’s like to wake up every day and hate my life because I am in the wrong career. I know how that lack of congruency can tear a person apart from the inside out.

I don’t want others to experience that, and I believe in the life-changing impact my work has on others.

So, when I see dental “professionals” (pretend they’re the patients,) accuse coaches (pretend they’re the dentists) of trying to sell them coaching (pretend that’s a crown,) I can’t help but scream on the inside…

Hypocrite!

Of course, I say this with love because I really do love dentists, but I’m simply trying to help you see that things aren’t always what you think they are. If you’re reading this, I know you are not one of those dentists, and this can apply to any of our judgments in life.

However, if you happen to be reading this and recognize a little bit of this judgment in yourself, this is a great opportunity to expand your thinking. Just like there are unethical dentists out there, sure, there are bad coaches out there too. But my friends, the coaches who I align myself with, believe in what they do too. In fact, they are all dentists or hygienists or dental assistants… just like you!

So the next time you find yourself judging them, mistrusting their intentions, remember this…

They, in fact, are in the business of taking care of people too.