We often hear how we can manifest what we want simply by thinking about the very thing. It’s the Law of Attraction. My first exposure to this kind of thinking was when The Secret came out quite a few years ago. While some of the principles seemed pretty cool, I remember thinking, “so, if I say I want to win the lottery, then I will win it? Why hasn’t it worked yet?”

I didn’t buy into it, and I’m not sure I want to.

We can’t just say we want this or that and expect to get it. It’s not the way the world works. It wouldn’t really be beneficial to us anyway. Imagine if our thoughts brought us winning lottery tickets, new cars, and successful careers. Then what would happen if we instantly pictured a plane crash, a breakup, or an illness? We don’t bring those things on by fearing them, nor do we want that responsibility.

If we could attract anything and everything with our thoughts, I’d have to blame myself for getting cancer.

Over 10 years ago when I was at the height of my depression in my career, I remember watching breast cancer survivors speak publicly about their experiences. I was in awe as one after another raved about how grateful they felt. I found it fascinating that such a horrible experience could bring an equally wonderful outcome.

It surprised me that so many people could feel grateful after they suffered through a cancer diagnosis and treatment. But they all did. Some even went so far as to say it was the best thing that ever happened to them. I remember it all so vividly, and the part that has been hard for me to admit is this: I wanted to be like them.

It’s true. I felt so discontented in my life that I longed to have the kind of life experience that would make me appreciate my life, that would make me feel joy again. I kind of wanted to get breast cancer.

Having those thoughts did not give me cancer. If they did, I would have been a lottery winner a million times over. That would have been a much easier way to solve my career woes. Besides, I really didn’t want to get cancer at all. I did, however, want to have the same sort of breakthrough these women were having in their lives.

It’s easy to be held hostage by our beliefs if we’re not careful.

The other day I joined some friends on a pub crawl. (Yes, I’m having fun again.) Some random dude came over to a few of us, and we ended up in a quick toast, clinking our glasses together.

He suddenly noticed I was drinking water, and as I joined in the toast, he hesitated and pulled back saying, “No, you can’t toast with water! It’s bad luck!”

Ha! Really?

So I playfully replied, “I have cancer, and that stuff doesn’t matter.”

I think I freaked him out a bit, so I gave a quick apology for my lack of “propriety,” (people get really uncomfortable with the C word, so I sometimes like to mess with them.) I went on to question his belief about toasting with water and if he really wanted to be trapped by that belief.

What a useless superstition.

If it’s bad luck to toast with water, then it must mean it’s good luck to toast with alcohol. I know plenty of bad things that have happened after people toast with alcohol.

What if it’s not manifesting at all, but instead it’s our intuition knowing what’s coming?

Last week was the one-year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis. Around that same time last year I had attended an event where we wrote a letter to ourselves as if it were a year in the future. The letter was to include our vision of the year ahead. We left the letter with the organization, and exactly one year later, they mailed the letters to us.

Mine came in the mail last week, and it took me by surprise.

Essentially the letter was a pep talk to myself. It included all of the things I wanted to have happen in the year. All that I could see ahead of me was cancer, so while I envisioned myself cured, it mostly focused on my attitude.

I didn’t ask for the experience to be a certain way, but I asked for me to be a certain way in the experience.

At the time, I can tell you it was not at all what I was feeling or knew to be true, but instead it was the only thing I could hope for. Here is an excerpt:

You never thought this would be you, but you showed fierce strength… you realized the amazing, strong woman you are. I’m so proud of how you handled yourself. You took care of yourself and those you love with love and compassion. You learned. You grew. You are a better person.

Today you read this, and you are cancer-free. You continue to inspire people. Now you get to continue the celebration… you are stronger, more grateful, and more loving than ever. Today you laugh, smile, and celebrate. I’m so proud of the woman you are.

What surprised me the most is that all those words are true for me today. It really was as if I wrote that letter to myself last week instead of a year ago.

What if I manifested my ideal beliefs?

While I won’t believe I manifested getting cancer or curing cancer, it’s possible I could have manifested my attitude. I did not authentically feel a glimpse of this attitude a year ago. It wasn’t even there three months ago. But today and the day I received this letter, it is the very language I’ve used.

Or maybe I didn’t manifest it. Maybe it was my intuition, and I knew it was coming anyway.

Either way it doesn’t really matter. It seems to count that in the course of the year, I opened my mind to new ideas and possibilities.

If we combine intuition and intention, maybe that’s the magic of manifesting.

Without the intention plus the action of working to see things differently, we’ll always be stuck thinking we can’t toast with water.

What beliefs have you created to make it seem like you had more control over your life than you have?

Surely you have some beliefs or superstitions that you thought were helping you. Take a closer look at them and notice if they actually hold you back in your life. What did you think served you but really didn’t?

Maybe things have been so great lately that you think the other shoe will drop. Is that making you live in fear of something over which you have no control anyway? Maybe you’re blaming yourself for choosing your career or a relationship, and since you chose it, you believe you’re stuck with it.

How is this serving you?

Now think about what attitudes you’d like to manifest and intentionally grow. Try writing a letter to yourself, and then do something. It just might work.