If you know me well, you’ve probably heard me mention once or twice that I never win anything.  I always feel like I have to clarify it by saying, “I have a very lucky life, but I’m not lucky with gaming.”  It’s true.  If I stop and observe my life, I feel like I am quite lucky, but I have only won 1 prize ever in my life.  It was a Super Bowl pool last year, and I had the square that won me $75 at halftime.  It was right at that moment, at the end of halftime, that I was driving home.  It was a snowy evening, and the exact moment I  realized I had won, I had a car accident– in my 2-month-old car!  So even then, I couldn’t revel in the glory and excitement of winning.A few months ago I entered a different type of contest.  This one had nothing to do with luck, but it had everything to do with skill, experience, and charm.  My odds were a little better given that luck wasn’t involved.  This contest was to become the Paradise Hunter travel show host.  Lacking skill and experience in this arena, I had to rely solely on my charm.  Um, I’ll leave that one alone.

I obviously didn’t win the contest, but I actually won something just as valuable:

Insight!

I learned something very crucial about myself: I have not had any creativity in my life for at least 10 years, and a piece of me was missing.  That led me to start writing this blog, which has actually been a source of peace for me in my sometimes stressful life.  I can’t resist this… sorry, but… finding the missing piece, helped bring me peace.

So I had to keep this great thing going, and I found another contest to enter.  I couldn’t help it!  I needed to keep playing the game because it’s not necessarily the winning (and I don’t mean the Charlie kind,) but it is the playing that counts.

So here’s the contest: spend 1 month on an island in Panama.   How does that sound?  Live there, explore the island, visit other parts of Panama, and basically represent the development company.  It’s an internship, by the way, and the intern will spend his/her time blogging about those experiences in Panama.  I couldn’t help but ask myself, “am I too old to be an intern?”  The answer I came up with was, “probably, but who cares?”

The island is called Isla Palenque.  It is located in the Pacific, and they are going to develop part of the island and maintain eco-friendly and sustainable practices.  60% of the natural habitat will be preserved, and only 5% of the land will be developed.  They will build vacation homes and a hotel, and much of it will be powered by solar and wind energy.  They’ll have water conservation efforts in place, composting, recycling, and much of the produce will come from their own organic garden on the island.   If only I could find a way to get there…

So anyway, I made a little video– all about me.  It felt really strange.  It felt really self-indulgent, and I worried I was becoming too self-absorbed.  It felt a little bit wrong.  But it was fun.  At the same time it was a really neat way to connect with myself.  I got to look through all of my old (and new) photos and reminisce over some of my favorite life experiences.  It was a nice nostalgic trip down memory lane, and it gave me the opportunity to make a little story out of a piece of my life.

And in the end, I was reminded that it’s really not about winning or losing, it’s just about going for it.

Although someday, it would be nice to win something, just once… and with no strings attached.