Would you agree that our perspective dictates everything we experience in life?

We often hear how our thoughts create our reality. In a way, that’s true, but really, it’s more accurate to say that our thoughts create our perception of reality.

Two weeks ago, I sprained my ankle.

Yup. Just as I was getting myself back into a gym routine, I had another setback. I wish I could say it was a super cool accident, but it wasn’t. Leaving the gym, I missed a step, and landed on the top of my foot. I heard a giant crack and, seconds later the pain ensued.

I immediately knew I did something really wrong, and for the next few hours, I couldn’t focus on anything. Initially, I was pissed. I thought, “Really? I have just finished 16 months of never-ending medical appointments, which felt like a job in itself… and now this?!? How could this happen to me?”

Since I finished my last cancer procedures only in December, I had convinced myself 2020 was sure to be a fresh start. I was not supposed to have any more health problems. But alas, this clearly wasn’t my choice to make.

We never know which events will prove to be major catastrophes or minor nuisances.

The unknown potential outcomes left me worrying. I was afraid my foot was fractured, afraid I’d have to endure even more medical procedures, and I was simply tired of spending money on stuff I didn’t want. I had just finished treatment– I was ready for my life to get back to normal!

As I sat there, (briefly) wallowing in my anger and self-pity, I knew I couldn’t just sit there all day. I had to deal with it because it wouldn’t go away on its own.

I needed to create a solution.

In that moment I made a decision. I started thinking about all the reasons it would be okay: I was lucky it wasn’t my driving foot; I was lucky to to be married to an expert at treating injuries; and as a result I knew I’d get the best care while avoiding the hassles of urgent care.

Above all, I had survived much worse, so I could survive this too. And despite this setback, 2020 was still better than 2019!

It worked! With my newfound coping skills, I moved past the anger and frustration rather easily and quickly. Believe me, it doesn’t always work that way. This allowed me to jump into solution-mode.

Adding to all the luck, it turned out to be a sprain, not a fracture. After one treatment with my husband, I was able to walk immediately. And within the next 48 hours he had me walking completely pain-free.

Luckily, this mishap became a minor nuisance, not a major catastrophe. Or at least, from my perspective.

How did I change my perspective so effortlessly?

I could have chosen to stay really upset, but that felt like a waste of energy. The most helpful coping skill I used was to not only decide how this accident could help me grow, but to also believe it. Sure, I used the logical reasoning to convince myself things weren’t that bad, but logic often isn’t helpful. The key was tapping into my newfound perspectives and believing in the opportunity here.

Instead of bitterly asking, “Why did this happen to me,” I curiously asked, “Why did this happen to me?”

This question gave me the chance to create a whole new perspective for myself. Instead of the “poor me” dialogue, I began the “how can this help me” dialogue. I consciously chose to benefit from this instead of suffer from it.

This was yet another reminder to slow down.

After 2 years of constant reminders to slow down, maybe I was beginning to forget that lesson. Maybe I needed another reminder, and I’d better pay attention to it. We can all benefit from slowing down in this fast-paced world.

This small nuisance was exactly what I needed to reset.

Slowing down meant that I was forced to use this time to write. I had been procrastinating blogging, something I love to do, for months now. There was really nothing else I could do, so I focused on getting the physical rest I needed, while also creating a sense of fulfillment.

Unexpectedly we are all getting a massive reminder to slow down.

Life feels pretty surreal right now, doesn’t it? Sure, the virus may be scary, but the economic and social consequences feel just as scary for most of us.

We must cope with this unprecedented challenge. The same coping skills I used with my sprained ankle can work here too.

What if we curiously ask ourselves, “Why is the Coronavirus happening to us?”

We can’t change the reality, but we can decide what we want to learn from it. For me, it’s just another reminder to slow down. Maybe for you it’s a chance to really spend more time with your kids because deep down inside, you know you’ve been too busy. Or maybe you’re realizing how much you like this solitude, and when normal life resumes, you’ll commit to more me-time.

Of course we will worry about finances, canceling important plans, and entertaining and educating our kids. The stress is normal and might just force us to re-evaluate what’s important to us. Times are tough because there is a huge unknown:

Will this turn out to be a major catastrophe or a minor nuisance?

Regardless of whether this becomes a major catastrophe or a minor nuisance for you, you can find a way to grow from this.

We’re all worried about the financial threats we face, and we worry for the health of many people. We’ve never seen anything like this in our lifetime, so there are a lot of unknowns.

Beyond all of that, I’m also disappointed to have to cancel several important events, including a fun trip. And then I remember how devastated I was in 2018 when I had to cancel dream trips to Peru, China, and New Orleans– all for cancer. I remember feeling like I didn’t know how I would ever recover from losing what gave me the most joy in the world. With that memory comes the reminder that I’m just grateful that every threat or inconvenience I’m experiencing today is not for cancer.

And I don’t even need to try to convince myself to feel better with logic.

I naturally cope differently, precisely because my cancer experience was so terrible. And that makes it easy to find the positives, like I did with my ankle.

If only my experience could give you the perspective to breeze through this without too much emotional turmoil. But alas, I don’t think perspective works that way. Sharing my attitude based on my experiences might change your logic, but will it really help you genuinely feel better about your problem?

It seems that if we want to gain different perspectives in life, we need to experience life for ourselves.

So if you’re freaking out right now, how can you think back to something worse that you’ve been through? Think back to a tragic loss of a loved one, chronic pain, a huge financial crisis, or a life-threatening illness. How can you find the gratitude that (hopefully) this isn’t as bad as that was? How can you remember the time you faced something that you didn’t think you’d get through, but you did? What was it about you that got yourself through that horror?

That same strength will get you through this too.

If you haven’t experienced worse than you are experiencing now, that’s okay. The consequences of this pandemic could be awful and are worse for some, more than others. If that’s the case, then maybe this experience will be that terrible experience that will teach you how to overcome future challenges. Maybe it will be the very thing that will change your perspective, despite how horrible it feels.

And if you’re on the opposite extreme… if despite the horrible challenges this will bring to you, you’re still feeling absolutely giddy… if you’re feeling so ecstatic to have forced time away from the misery of your work… then we should talk.