The other day I had a great conversation with a very successful dentist who was looking for a change. As we discussed how I, as a coach, help dentists design their careers on their terms, the topic of community came up.

She mentioned to me that she has a few friends who also want change, and they’re not that happy in dentistry. Their friendship is so great because they can get together and blow off some steam… aka complain.

But she laughed as she shared that all they ever do is complain, and they never do anything about it.

It feels good to have someone to talk to who can relate to you, validate you, and show you that you’re not alone. It can be quite helpful to deal with the stress too.

While it’s helpful to have friends who get you, what if we are collectively holding each other back?

What if we are tolerating “good enough” together, thereby dismissing the fact that life in and out of dentistry can be better?

I see this all the time, and I did it too when I was in practice. Early on in my career, one of my close friends introduced me to her childhood friend– who was a dentist and hated practicing dentistry too.

We would occasionally chat and validate each other’s experiences. We shared ideas of what we could try, but we never got anywhere because we didn’t know how or what to do. It was great to have the support, but it never really led to solutions.

Today, a whopping 20 years later, we both have careers we love. I get to help other dentists find career happiness through my coaching, and she runs an non-traditional tooth whitening and Invisalign practice in a spa.

We did it! But dang, it took us long enough! It took so long because we didn’t have a process. We wasted so much time grasping at straws. And while it turned out great, I’ll speak for myself and say that I endured a lot more pain than I needed to.

If you love commiserating with your friends but want to turn your talk into action, you don’t need to wait decades to live your best life.

Who you surround yourself with matters!

We see this over and over in dentistry. If you’re unhappy or looking for more out of your career than dentistry provides, it’s hard to make change when you’re going against the grain. It’s hard to give yourself permission to change when your circle of influence encourages the status quo. It feels impossible to consider creative alternatives when everyone around you tells you to buy a practice if you’re unhappy in dentistry– whether that’s a fit for you or not.

Author and inspirational speaker, Jim Rohn, said, “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

Do you see this in your own life? I’ve found it to be true across the board. We tend to spend our time with like-minded people. That can reveal itself in our financial status, health, politics, attitude, belief systems, and more.

This counts with your dental community too.

If you have some great friends who commiserate with you about the stress of dentistry, that’s great! But what if it could be better? What if instead of having a supportive group who makes you feel better simply because you’re not alone, you could have a supportive group of people who inspires you to feel, do, AND be better.

Don’t get me wrong. These complaining friendships are so helpful! And friends are important for the relationship itself, not necessarily what you can get out of the interaction. But if you really want to change, surrounding yourself with next-level thinkers will elevate you to the next level. And you can bring your friends along for the ride.

When you think about you’re life, what do you think you deserve? I think you deserve more than to just tolerate your life. You deserve to not just go from bad to okay, but to go from good to great.

What do you need in your life to make this happen? How can you inspire your friends to all grow together and design this life exactly how you want?

Stick with me, and my community will help you grow.

As I’m gearing up to host Safari N Side Gigs, this discussion reminds me how much I love to grow with my good friends. It creates a synergy that keeps us all going.

Imagine traveling the world and pouring into yourself with old and new friends. That community will change your life. Wouldn’t it be great to get together with your friends to stop whining and start wining? (Okay, there doesn’t need to be alcohol involved, but that sounded clever.)

If traveling isn’t your thing, I have an amazing mastermind community where we’ve helped many of our members start side gigs, better manage their stress in dentistry, and finally step into more career happiness.

If that is too much, I have a lovely community just for dental professionals on Facebook called Dentist Side Gigs. You can join that.

No matter how you choose to grow, finding the right community to support your dreams is key. You can turn your whine into wine and get proactive to create what you want and stop tolerating just good enough.